The Autograph
by GlynnisGriffiths
Summary: "Much like a particularly bad head-cold, asking for autographs appeared to be contagious." Harry sneaks his way through Diagon Alley with Ginny in tow, pursued by an autograph hound. (Rated T for an accidental detour into Vampire Erotica.)


A/N: This is short and entirely silly, but it popped into my head and proved a wonderful diversion from writing more serious things. I had a good time with it, and hope you enjoy reading it as well. Comments are very welcome; please take the time to review!

[Originally posted on in May 2009]

**The Autograph**

Harry had never liked giving autographs. It wasn't that he begrudged the people who were doing the asking, precisely; it was more that being asked made him feel unaccountably uncomfortable, as though he were on a stage for public consumption every moment - even when he didn't know it. He gave them with as much good grace as he could muster, having long since realized that nothing would dissuade the autograph-seekers from their quest. Still, much like a particularly bad head-cold, asking for autographs appeared to be contagious. On those days when everyone in Diagon Alley seemed to be catching it, Harry did his best to stick to side streets and less frequented shops. It mightn't be very Gryffindor of him, but it seemed the only way to be polite and still manage to get wherever he was going without being waylaid several times.

One sunny afternoon during the first September that Harry and Ginny were out of school found the pair of them strolling in Diagon Alley, idly looking in shop windows. Ginny had just returned from pre-season training camp with the Holyhead Harpies in Wales. She had left for camp quite soon after completing her final year at Hogwarts, and Harry was still revelling in the newness of having her stand beside him, delighting at the feel of her small hand clasped in his own. He was thinking of how especially nice this was, while noticing new calluses on the heel of her palm and feeling a delicious rush of warmth through his abdomen when she squeezed his hand.

They were walking near Quality Quidditch Supplies when Harry heard the first self-conscious cough. He sighed. Judging from the sunny weather and the number of people about, it could turn into a feeding frenzy if he let it. Better to dodge and avoid if they could manage it. He picked up his pace.

"Oh look, Harry!" Ginny was pointing happily at the windows. "They've got the new edition of _Quidditch Quarterly_. The cover interview is with Gwenog. One of the reporters even spoke to me about her captaincy-style." She moved towards the shop.

"Erm, Gin?" Harry tugged her hand in the other direction. "Weren't you just saying this morning that you'd rather snog a screwt than think about Quidditch for at least a week?"

She looked sheepish. "Well…"

He pulled her more firmly this time, away from Quality Quidditch Supplies, which was lamentably exposed on the sunny side of the street and only had a few shoppers standing about the windows. He headed instead across the alley towards Flourish and Blotts, with its bustling crowds and high shelving with lots of nooks and crannies.

"Come on, let's look in Flourish and Blotts. I want to – check on a book." He lied lamely. Ginny raised an eyebrow, but shrugged and followed him.

"You must have been spending a lot of time with Hermione while I was at camp," She smirked, "if you're checking up on books instead of brooms now."

Harry nudged her with his shoulder, but couldn't hold back a smile. He swung open the door for her, and between the mix of indoor and outdoor noises he almost missed the reedy voice calling "Hey!"

Almost, but not quite. He ducked inside the store, the door swooshing shut behind him.

Ginny had made her way over to a stand displaying the latest issue of the Quibbler, which she was flipping through with much unconcealed mirth. She beckoned Harry over.

"Did you know Dermot Attwood has apparently been having a torrid and illicit affair with a hag?"

"The Keeper for Kenmare? Can't say that I did. But if Xeno says so in the Quibbler it must be true." He held his hand over his heart in mock solemnity. Ginny swatted him with the magazine.

"It says here they've been keeping it under wraps because "we would face unbearable prejudice if our love - and my face - were to see the light of day". They've quoted the hag. Wonder why she's giving an interview then? Oh look; they've got a picture. Can't see much through that veil, though, can you?" She held up the magazine for Harry's inspection. Before he could properly focus on the picture, though, his ears perked to an unwelcome sound.

"Excuse-" the voice was getting close now, edging through the store and the customers browsing the shelves. Harry grabbed Ginny's arm and towed her behind a particularly high display shelf. On the other side they found themselves face to face with – Harry flushed – the Vampire Erotica section. He groaned quietly.

Ginny looked up and smirked. "Making a point, Harry?"

"What? No! It's just that- I was only trying to- It's awfully crowded back there…" He fumbled over an explanation unsuccessfully as Ginny began to giggle.

"Oh hush. I was only teasing. Let's see what we have here, yeah?" And she picked up a book at random from the shelf, flipping open to a glossy photograph page in the middle. The back of Ginny's neck went bright red, and as he leaned over her shoulder Harry could see why.

"Surely people don't… do that?" He muttered.

"I – ehm – don't think Vampires could." Ginny's voice was rather higher than usual. "I mean… how would you sustain blood-flow to the-"

"Yeah," Harry hastily agreed, as she let her unfinished statement hang in the air. "And wouldn't you pass out? It can't be healthy."

That got a snicker out of her, and soon it worked its way into a full-blown laugh.

"What?" Harry was mildly annoyed. This whole situation was embarrassing enough, without his girlfriend laughing at him.

"Oh Harry," She struggled to stem her laughter and speak, "I don't think sex with vampires ever really qualifies as 'healthy'." She began to laugh again. Harry, although still a bit chagrined couldn't suppress his own snicker.

He was about to take the book from her and return it to its shelf, when the voice, now only a couple of meters away, said "Hey! Hey, excuse me?" Harry sighed. Ginny, having noticed their visitor, gave him a sympathetic smile. They were caught.

He very briefly considered pushing Ginny up against the bookshelves and snogging her in the hopes that whoever it was wouldn't interrupt and would give up, but a moment's reflection revealed that this was not a good plan. With his luck it would be a reporter, and tomorrow's Daily Prophet would have a picture of he and Ginny snogging in the Vampire Erotica section on the front page.

"Excuse me!" The voice was nearly at his elbow now, and for the first time Harry noticed that it sounded quite young. He half-turned, but before he had even faced its owner the voice began to speak again.

"Are you - are you Ginny Weasley?"

Harry finished the rest of his turn in quick surprise, silently thanking good reflexes and Auror training for keeping him from toppling over. A quick glance told him that Ginny looked quite as surprised as he did. He looked down fully at a small girl of perhaps nine or ten. She was holding out a copy of the latest _Quidditch Quarterly_. She waited for Ginny's nod of confirmation.

"Can I have your autograph, please?"

-End-


End file.
